


Every Version of Myself

by blackm00n5



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Closeted Alec, M/M, Royalty Universe, Shadowhunters Big Bang, alec is with lydia while closeted, genderbent universe, married universe, only in one universe, technical character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 06:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7349959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackm00n5/pseuds/blackm00n5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus had always been an innovator of sorts when it came to magic. Helping to invent the portal was just one of many things he had done. He needed that stimulation, needed to occupy himself or else the boredom would kill him.</p><p>So, it wasn’t a surprise when he started looking into alternate universes after Clary had gone into one. </p><p>Magnus explores some of these universes. Suffice to say, it does not quite go as planned.</p><p>FORMAL APOLOGY IS INSIDE IN THE NOTES,</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Into the multiverse

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to apologize to everyone about this fic. The initial fic was posted and I obviously misunderstood comments I was getting. I was under the impression I was only being asked to tag the genderbent universe, which I did. I didn't realize the chapter where Alec and Lydia were together was such an issue. It was also brought to my attention that I hadn't written it obviously enough that he was simply still closeted in that universe, so I fixed it. 
> 
> I'm really sorry, everyone. I hope you can enjoy the story, anyway, and please don't blame the Shadowhunters Big Bang.
> 
> I will add notes at the beginning of each chapter to warn you which universe that chapter is, and I'll also add it into the chapter titles.

Magnus had always been an innovator of sorts when it came to magic. Helping to invent the portal was just one of many things he had done. He needed that stimulation, needed to occupy himself or else the boredom would kill him.  
  
So, it wasn’t a surprise when he started looking into alternate universes after Clary had gone into one.   
  
Magnus knew, theoretically, that there were an infinite number of universes. Ranging anywhere from very subtly different, to nothing but their names being the same. He knew there would be universes where he and Alec were not together, as horrible as the thought was. He knew there were universes where Ragnor survived, or where he didn’t know Raphael. Universes where his mother had never ended her life or where he himself had never even been born.   
  
And from the start, Magnus knew this would be risky. There was the chance of getting lost in the new universe, the chance of losing himself to the alternate version. But he’d been studying different universes for weeks, he’d been looking into this idea ever since things had calmed down. Jace was back home, Valentine was rather dormant while recovering from that loss. Alec was firmly his, even Simon was back home at the DuMort.   
  
Now was his best chance to really dive into this research. To take a far more physical approach to it. Get information from experience as opposed to just theories he hadn’t quite proven, yet. To be able to pull actual memories out to rewatch and examine. Now, he could explore each universe, learn how to differentiate between them and choose them. What the magical characteristics were. Learn how to use these other worlds to his advantage.   
  
There was no secret that Alexander was nervous about this. Magnus was well on his way to loving the Nephilim - if he wasn’t completely there, already - but the boy had very little understanding of how magic worked. And Alec tended to focus on the negative, always prepared for the worst. So Magnus could do nothing more than smile fondly as his boyfriend nervously paced the loft while Magnus prepared to open a portal to one of these dimensions.   
  
“I don’t like this idea, Magnus.” Alec repeated for the eighth time. Magnus had been counting.   
  
“I know you don’t, angel.” Magnus answered, pausing to turn toward him. “But I do know what I’m doing. I’ve a strong control on my magic, and I am going into this fully aware of what’s happening.”   
  
Alec nodded absently, as if he agreed and disagreed all at the same time. He continued pacing, fumbling with his hands. Finally, he took a deep breath and turned to face Magnus fully. He strode over to him, thrusting his hand out. Magnus rose a curious eyebrow, and he lifted his own hand to catch whatever Alec planned on dropping out of his. When Alec opened his hand, an arrowhead connected to a small chain plopped into Magnus’ palm.   
  
“It’s an earring.” Alec blurted out, not meeting Magnus’ gaze. “The arrowhead is from the arrow you used when I taught you how to use the bow.”   
  
There was a faint pink rising up Alec’s neck and over his cheeks, and a smile tugged across Magnus’ lips as he watched him. He had to try and keep from smirking, fondly remembering Alec’s arms wrapped around him to guide his hands to the correct positions. Magnus had already known how to use a bow - though he wasn’t very good at it - but who was he to deny himself the chance to not only please Alec, but be wrapped up in his arms while doing so? He could still feel Alec’s warm breath on his neck as the nephilim explained how to hold the bow, could feel the strong expanse of muscle behind him, around him.   
  
Forcing himself out of the memory, Magnus held the earring up to examine it, smiling a little wider when he noticed a little gem - a garnet, if he wasn’t mistaken - embedded into the center of the arrowhead.   
  
“Thank you, Alexander.” He said, voice soft and sincere. He noticed a tiny smile twitch at Alec’s lips.   
  
“It’s...you said you need something tangible. To keep you grounded. I figured, I don’t know, maybe it’d help.” Alec shrugged, absently scratching at the back of his head and still not looking at Magnus.   
  
Still smiling, Magnus carefully removed the diamond stud he was already wearing so he could replace it with the gift. He made his way over to the closest mirror, the one hanging between two windows in the hallway, and examined himself. The earring dangled down beside the curve of his jaw, simple and elegant.   
  
“It looks amazing. Thank you, darling.” Magnus repeated as he turned to look at Alec. “A grounding tool as well as a reminder of the amazing Shadowhunter waiting for me back home.” He mused, head cocking to the side, and he was pleased to see his comment caused another shy smile to flick across Alec’s face.   
  
He walked back over to Alec, his smile softening a bit as he raised his hands to lovingly cup the man’s face. Alec blinked, then returned the little smile. His eyes flicked over to the arrowhead, and he lifted a hand to touch it gently. Like he was afraid it would break. Like somehow, becoming beautiful, a part of Magnus, made it too delicate. His smile softened as he examined the earring, barely touching it with the tips of his fingers.   
  
“I need to ask a question before I go, Alexander.” Magnus said softly, drawing Alec’s attention back to his face instead of the arrow.  Alec gave a questioning hum. “There will obviously be versions of you in each of these universes.”   
  
“Yeah, I know that…?” Alec’s brows furrowed, confusion building in his eyes. Magnus smiled a little bit, still holding Alec’s face lovingly.   
  
“I want to know if you want me to stay away from them. If we’re together in any of these universes, would you prefer I abstain from any sort of romance?” He tilted his head, watching the realization come over Alec’s face. And he smiled when he saw the pink rising up over Alec’s neck.   
  
“I didn’t...think of it. They’re still me.” Alec answered slowly, as if still trying to think about what the implications were. “You need to play the part in each universe, so I don’t see the problem with it.”   
  
Magnus nodded slowly, trying to keep from smiling too widely. Of course Alexander was looking at it from the most logical point of view. A lifetime of being taught to ignore what he felt was a difficult thing to overcome. However, Magnus wanted a real answer. An answer that told him what Alec actually wanted and not what he thought was the ‘correct’ answer.   
  
“Are you positive?” He asked, quiet and sincere. He waited patiently, watched as Alec chewed at his bottom lip and look off to the side.   
  
“Yes. I’m sure. They’re just different versions of me.” He finally answered, nodding. And this time, Magnus could see the honesty. See that the logic in it truly comforted Alec.   
  
“And if I’m in a universe where I’m in a relationship with someone else?” He added, voice gentle. “Do you want me to play along, still, or find a reason to avoid it?”   
  
It was quiet, then, for a long moment. Magnus could see Alec’s mind reeling, could see the logic and the emotion battling it out inside his head. Magnus waited patiently, let Alec work through whatever thought process he needed to go through. Finally, Alec sighed and leaned closer to press their foreheads together.   
  
“If you can avoid it, I’d like that. But if you can’t, I’m not going to be angry with you.” He said, voice quiet. Magnus nodded a little, then closed the small space between them with a soft kiss.   
  
“I can assure you, if I don’t have to kiss anyone who isn’t you, I most certainly won’t.” He mused, almost teasingly, and he was close enough to feel Alec’s little smile.   
  
“Promise you’ll come back?” Alec said quietly, pulling away a bit to actually look at Magnus.   
  
“I promise you, Alexander, I will always come back to you.” Magnus breathed out, lifting himself onto the tips of his toes so he could press his lips against Alec’s again.   
  
Some of the tension seemed to have drained from Alec’s shoulders when they finally pulled away from each other, and Magnus let his hands linger on his face for a moment before he stepped away completely. Offering one last smile, Magnus turned around.   
  
He closed his eyes, focusing his magic. He could feel it pulsing in him, feel the waves of energy flowing as easily as his blood did through him. Suddenly, everything was so pronounced. The scent of his own shampoo on Alec behind him, the sound of their breathing. The heat from the sun pouring in through his windows. All of it was enhanced, surrounding him. Engulfing him.   
  
When Magnus finally opened his eyes again, out of breath and a bit light headed, there was a portal opened in front of him. A little more blue than purple, sparking at the edges. Magnus licked at his lips, taking a slow breath before nodding once. He glanced over his shoulder at Alec, shooting him one last smile.   
  
“I’ll be back, darling.” He repeated, a quiet promise.   
  
And Magnus stepped through the portal. 


	2. Married Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This universe has Magnus and Alec already married, and already with Max as their son. I don't think there's anything triggering in this chapter, but if I'm wrong please inform me.

It was dizzying. Images blurring past him, something like a breeze whirling around him. He stumbled, suddenly unable to find any solid ground. It felt something like a dream, nothing quite there for Magnus to grasp on to but still feeling it there. Still feeling the ghost of the ground under his feet, like it was almost there for him to touch.   
  
When the world around Magnus finally focused in, he found himself on his back in bed. He blinked a few times, taking a moment to try and catch his breath. To try and ground himself. He sat up slowly, automatically reaching up to make sure that arrowhead was still hanging from his ear. What was left of his unease faded as his fingers wrapped around the earring, feeling the cool metal of it seep the heat from his palm.   
  
Looking around, Magnus realized he was in his own bedroom. And, well, that wasn’t a surprise he supposed. The sheets were soft and silky under him, the curtains pulled open to let in the light from a full moon. Magnus stood slowly, pleased to feel a luxurious fabric around his legs. Good to know this universe’s version of him still had exquisite taste.   
  
The bedroom looked fairly similar to the one back in his own universe. A large bed with far too many pillows, a plush carpet. A door to a closet almost as big as the room itself with a full body mirror against the far wall. All in all, it seemed almost like he hadn’t left his own universe, at all.   
  
Then, Magnus noticed the large photo framed on the wall where, back home, he had an eighteenth century painting. He stepped up to it slowly, eyes widening slightly.   
  
He and Alec, both done up in fancy suits with their hands clasped and leaned into each other for a kiss. He could see the both of them smiling against each other’s lips, could see the silver ring on his own hand in the photo.   
  
Heart racing like Magnus hadn’t felt in years, perhaps decades, he looked down at his hands. There, on his left hand, was that same silver ring. Small chips of sapphire swirled over the ring, just enough to make it look exotic and special. Magnus could feel that no doubt goofy smile pulling almost painfully across his face, and he held his hand up to examine the ring more thoroughly.   
  
After Magnus had spent a fair amount of time examining his wedding ring - and just thinking it made his heart flutter like he was a teenager again - he turned toward the bed. Where he had fully expected to see his beautiful Shadowhunter, there was nothing. The clear signs of a bed that had previously had two occupants, the blankets thrown back on both sides and the pillows wrinkled and crooked. Magnus’ head cocked to the side curiously, and he let out a little hum.   
  
Well. Might as well go find him.   
  
Magnus slipped out of the room quietly, pleasantly surprised to find the loft looked almost exactly the same. There were, of course, the obvious signs of a couple. Photos of them together, Alec’s bow and quiver hanging on a weapon rack against the wall, a bookshelf full of books Magnus knew his own Alec liked. Lovingly, Magnus trailed his fingers over the bow as he silently walked past it. This...was nice. He could certainly get used to the idea of sharing his loft with Alexander.   
  
It took a moment for him to notice the sliver of light coming from a barely open door down the hall, too busy examining the differences in the room. Head tilting once again, Magnus went to investigate the new room. Did his loft in his own universe even have a room, there? He carefully pushed the door open, poking his head in to see what was inside.   
  
Magnus was surprised to find a nursery. Soft greens on the wall, a plush white carpet. Stuffed animals spread on shelves and on the floor. And Alexander, sitting in a rocking chair with a small, blue child cradled in his arms.   
  
The sight hit Magnus like a bolt of lightning. Alec had a bit of scruff on his face, his pajama shirt on inside out. And he was so gentle, holding this child - their child - close to his chest and rocking carefully in the chair. And the baby looked so small in his arms, so fragile, and it broke Magnus’ heart in the best way possible. For a long moment, Magnus felt like his throat was closed up, like he couldn’t breathe.   
  
Then, Alec looked up and offered a smile, and Magnus swore his knees gave out.   
  
“Hey, Mags.” Alec whispered. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” He asked, face scrunching apologetically. Magnus swallowed, then shook his head as he went into the room.   
  
“No, you just weren’t there when I happened to wake.” He answered, settling himself on the floor beside Alec, examining the baby in his arms. “I figured you must have come to check on the little one.”     
  
It was a lie, obviously. But Magnus already knew he’d have to play the part in every universe he went to. He would have to pretend nothing was different. And besides, something about this just felt natural. It was easy to act like this was normal for them, like being married with a child was something he’d had time to adjust to. Alec smiled, carefully rearranging the child in his arms. He was a Warlock, he must have been; with navy blue skin like that. And there seemed to be little nubs on either side of his forehead, nubs that would likely be impressive horns, one day.   
  
“Yeah, Max was crying. I think it was just a bad dream.” He explained, and Magnus nodded.   
  
“Seems like Daddy fixed that right up.” He mused teasingly, reaching to brush his finger over the child’s cheek. Max’s face turned into the soft touch and Magnus couldn’t stop from smiling.   
  
“Yeah...Still can’t believe we made it here, you know?” Alec answered, still looking down at Max like he was in awe. Magnus nodded.   
  
“It’s almost weird.” He answered, teasingly, and Alec chuckled.   
  
“Yeah, almost.” Alec let out a quiet sigh, finally looking at Magnus again. “I love you, Magnus.”   
  
Magnus felt his chest tighten in the best of ways, felt his head get light and could feel the room spinning around him. He knew he loved Alec, knew it like he knew he was a Warlock. It was an undeniable fact. But he hadn’t said it, hadn’t told his Alexander that he loved him. He knew he needed to move slowly, had to take it at Alec’s pace. If he said he loved him this soon, he was worried he’d scare Alec away. Alec wasn’t used to this, quite yet. He had spent so many years hating himself, trying to pretend he was something he wasn’t because he thought he was wrong. And Magnus knew that was painfully difficult to overcome.   
  
Magnus swallowed as he pushed to his feet. He tilted Alec’s head up lovingly, careful to avoid disrupting the sleeping baby as he leaned down to kiss him. Firm but gentle, just as loving as he would kiss the Alec back in his own universe.   
  
“I love you, too, Alexander.” He breathed out, barely pulling out of the kiss.   
  
He could feel Alec smile against his lips, and he lingered a moment longer before straightening up again. He cupped Alec’s face in his hand, thumb lovingly brushing over his cheekbone. Alec let his eyes flit shut, head tilting into the soft touch just like Max’s had moments before.   
  
After a moment, Alec stood. Magnus stepped back, giving him room, and smiling warmly at how careful he was with the small baby in his arms. Magnus followed him over to the crib, resting his hand at the small of Alec’s back as he bent down to lie Max down in his crib. Max made a soft, gurgling type of sound and shifted, but otherwise didn’t show any sign of waking. Magnus pulled the soft, fleece blanket up over the baby.   
  
“Love you, Max.” Alex said quietly, kissing his fingers before gently pressing them to Max’s little forehead.   
  
Alec’s fingers laced with Magnus’ as the warlock used his other hand to lovingly touch Max’s head. They lingered a moment, then Alec tugged at Magnus’ hand to guide him out of the room. They flicked the light off once they checked to make sure the night light was still on, leaving the door cracked, then silently made their way back to their own bedroom.   
  
Magnus was curled up on his side with Alec’s chest pressed into his back before he remembered this wasn’t his Alec. This wasn’t his universe, he couldn’t stay here. He gripped at the arrowhead, taking a slow breath to regain control of himself. He hadn’t quite expected it to be so easy to assimilate into the new universe, especially with his knowledge of what he was doing. As nice as this universe was, he had his own Alexander to go back to. He had his own life with the Nephilim that had only just begun.   
  
Eventually, the breathing behind him steadied out and the arm wrapped around him relaxed. Magnus swallowed, carefully extracting himself from his lover’s hold. He watched Alec for a moment, relieved that he hadn’t woken him up. He grasped at his earring once more, thumb rubbing over the flat of it. Magnus stood, careful to be quiet, and started for the bathroom. He paused in front of their wedding photo, smiling up at it. He sighed almost wistfully, looking down and lovingly touching the ring around his finger.   
  
“One day, Alexander.” He breathed out. A quiet promise that may have been more to himself than to Alec.


	3. Polyamory Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this universe, the polyamory does not involve either Magnus or Alec, and in this universe, Magnus is still with Camille. It's only briefly mentioned, and she's not actually in the story.

Opening up a portal was a little easier, this time. It didn’t leave him so out of breath or weak. Stepping through it, however, was just as disorienting as it was the first time. The same swirl of colors surrounding him and the same unsteady feeling like he was walking on air.  
  
The first thing Magnus noticed as the world began to solidify around him was that someone else was holding on to his hand. He knew that feeling, knew exactly what was going on. Whoever it was, they were holding his hand specifically to paint his nails. Fingers flat and spread, and he could feel the coolness of the polish being painted onto his middle nail.   
  
As his eyes refocused, Magnus saw Raphael sitting across from him and holding his hand. The room around them wasn’t familiar to him, mostly white and black. Modern in its decor. Raphael was talking, and it took a moment for Magnus to focus in on what he was saying.   
  
“-course he thinks it’s time to brag about Isabelle being the greatest girlfriend he could ever have.” Raphael scoffed, obviously disgusted. Magnus nodded along, trying to piece together what information Raphael would expect him to already know. But, thankfully, before Magnus could answer, Raphael kept going.   
  
“It’s not even that I don’t like Isabelle. She’s pretty, she’s smart, whatever. But I know Simon is bi, and I’ve been trying to get his attention since he was still in love with Clary.” Raphael sighed, looking up from Magnus’ nails to meet his eyes. “Maybe it’s not worth it to keep trying.”   
  
“Oh, Rafa, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Magnus answered, feeling the same protectiveness he’d feel towards his own Raphael surfacing. “You don’t need to give up completely. I’d hate to encourage you to chase after something you may never get, but I also hate the idea of telling you it will never happen. Neither option is guaranteed.”   
  
Raphael sighed again, shrugging as he placed the brush back into the bottle of nail polish and closed it. Magnus took the moment to examine him. His hair was curling, free from the gel Magnus was used to seeing. Instead of the pale skin of a vampire, Raphael’s skin was evenly tanned. Dark and glowing gold. Diamond studs glinted from his ears, and a silver stud stuck out from his bottom lip.   
  
Magnus found himself a bit surprised to notice that Raphael was not wearing a shirt. Though, it was still late at night, if the dark sky outside the nearby window was anything to go by. Magnus saw elegant cursive spanning across Raphael’s collar bones. “en nombre de Dios yo oro”. In God’s name I pray. It would seem this Raphael was just as religious as the one Magnus knew in his own universe.   
  
The thought was confirmed even further when Raphael stood and turned to put the nail polish away, revealing an intricate crucifix tattooed between his shoulder blades. They both stayed silent for a long moment, and Magnus examined his freshly painted nails as Raphael collapsed back into the seat across from him.   
  
“Maybe I should just tell him and get it over with. At least that way he knows.” Raphael slumped a bit, crossing his arms on the table and bending to rest his chin on them. “That way maybe he won’t flaunt Izzy around me.”   
  
Magnus winced slightly, taking in the information. The Raphael he was used to was never this open, even with him. He didn’t talk this much, didn’t pine like this Raphael was so obviously doing. If it weren’t for the tired, aching look in Raphael’s eyes, Magnus might not have even been able to take it seriously. He reached across the table with the hand that hadn’t just been painted and rested it on Raphael’s elbow.   
  
“Getting it off your chest will probably help, darling.” He agreed, offering a gentle smile.   
  
Raphael returned the smile, and Magnus found himself relieved that he was at least passable as this universe’s version of himself. He pushed to his feet, gesturing for Raphael to follow. They went to the living room, plopping down beside each other on the couch. Raphael curled into Magnus’ side, much like Magnus remembered from decades ago. When he had first met Raphael, had first invited the young vampire into his home. The hand Magnus didn’t instinctively wrap around Raphael moved up to clasp at the arrowhead once more.   
  
“Maybe I will tell him.” Raphael mused, more to himself than to Magnus. Before Magnus had the chance to answer, Raphael was digging his phone out of his pocket.   
  
“I’m going to do it. What’s the worst that can happen, he tells me he’s happy with Izzy?” He announced, tilting his head back to look up at Magnus, and Magnus was momentarily struck by how young he looked.   
  
He didn’t seem as tired, didn’t look like he’d been put through hell like the Raphael that Magnus knew. This version of him still had a gentleness to him that Magnus sometimes doubted his own Raphael ever had. Magnus smiled encouragingly down at him, leaning down to press a fleeting kiss to his forehead.   
  
That seemed to be all the encouragement Raphael needed. He nodded once, rearranging a bit so he could text while still staying cuddled into Magnus’ side. It was certainly interesting. A part of Magnus was happy to know at least one version of Raphael was like this, was still innocent in a way he never truly got the chance to be. Seeing his little Rafa like this, so open and willing instead of closed off for fear of being hurt. It made Magnus’ heart flutter in an odd way, almost as if he were proud.   
  
“Magnus!” Raphael’s surprised voice cut Magnus from his thoughts and he looked down at him.   
  
“Magnus, look!” Raphael shoved his phone up into Magnus’ face, causing him to have to grip his wrist and gently push his hand away to actually see the text.   
  
_**From: Simon** _  
  
_I really like you, too, Raph. Izzy knows I like you, and she likes you, too. I don’t know, is offering for you to join unfair to you?_   
  
Magnus blinked once, then twice. Well. Good for Raphael, then.   
  
Except, it seemed like Raphael was panicking. Those dark brown eyes were wide, teeth biting into his bottom lip as he opened and closed his fists. Magnus put the phone down on the arm of the couch before turning in his seat to face Raphael more fully. He placed his hands on Raphael’s shoulders, trying to keep him grounded.   
  
“Hey, calm down, darling.” He encouraged. “Tell me what’s got you freaked out about it.”   
  
Magnus was briefly worried that he wasn’t reacting like he should for this universe. Perhaps he should have studied these universes a bit before he actually visited them. But, that thought process would have to wait until later, when there wasn’t a hyperventilating Raphael leaning into him. Raphael forced himself to take a deep breath, then nodded once.   
  
“I just...I’ve never had a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. They’re both older than me.” Raphael explained, eyes unfocused. “And what if he’s just fucking with me?”   
  
“Nope.” Magnus shook his head, lifting Raphael’s face by his chin to lock eyes with him. “No, he is not fucking with you. People do not make those kinds of offers as a joke, especially not to someone they’ve been friends with. If you need them to take things slow with you, I’m sure they will. “   
  
Raphael swallowed, staring at Magnus. It was striking to see him like this, so unsure and afraid. Even when Magnus had first met him, he hadn’t been quite like this. He’d been sure of himself, if only because he was forcing it. He’d stood as tall as he could, shoulders squared despite his confusion and fear and had faced every problem head on. This Raphael seemed to be crumbling.   
  
“Now. Raphael, are you interested in trying to be in a polyamorous relationship?” Magnus continued, raising a brow at him. Raphael swallowed thickly, taking a long moment to really think about it, then nodded once.   
  
“I like Izzy. Not on the same level as Simon, but...I like her.” He confirmed. Magnus smiled brightly at him, and he brushed a hand through Raphael’s hair.   
  
“Then you take that chance, Rafa. You tell him you want to try it and you three will figure it out together.”   
  
A smile twitched at Raphael’s lips, and he nodded. Magnus grabbed the phone from the arm behind him to hand it back to Raphael, and he watched happily as Raphael typed out a response. Once he hit ‘send’, Raphael looked back up at Magnus with a proud smile lighting up his face. Hope like Magnus had never seen from his own Raphael shining in his eyes. It was enough to make Magnus’ throat close up, his chest tighten.   
  
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Raphael shook his head, bouncing a little bit in his seat. Magnus couldn’t help but give a small laugh.   
  
“My little Rafa, growing up!” He teased, laughing even more when Raphael gave a bashful little smile.   
  
Raphael’s phone went off, again, and he bounced up to his feet again. He stumbled over his feet, flipping Magnus off when he laughed, and rushed to find his shirt. Magnus stood, following after Raphael to wrap him in a hug once he was fully dressed again. He felt an almost too genuine smile touch his face when Raphael returned to hug eagerly, squeezing him.   
  
“Go on and rock it, Raphael.” Magnus murmured to him, kissing his head before he pulled away.   
  
Raphael smiled brightly at Magnus, nodding once. He took a long, deep breath, squaring his shoulders. Magnus ruffled his hair lovingly, chuckling as his hand was swatted away. Raphael flung himself at Magnus, hugging him once more, then started for the door.   
  
“I’ll text you to let you know how it goes, okay?” He called over his shoulder. The door slammed shut behind him, and Magnus smiled warmly.   
  
Once again, Magnus lifted his hand to touch the arrowhead hanging from his ear. His thumb rubbed over the garnet, head tilting to the side. This was not his Raphael. This was not his own universe. And really, he knew his Raphael wasn’t miserable. But he also knew that he’d do anything to give him that innocence back.   
  
With a sigh, Magnus turned to examine the apartment. Pictures hung up on the walls in careful formations, glass top end tables and only sparse bits of color. Far more modern a design than Magnus would like, but then again, this was a completely different universe. A whole other version of himself, albeit it one with less sense of style.   
  
Magnus went to the wall full of photos, head tilting as he examined them. His jaw clenched at the photo of him with his mother and step-father, reaching for his earring more to comfort himself than to ground himself. He reached with his other hand to brush his fingers tentatively over the photo, lingering over his mother’s face. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, tearing his eyes away so he could look at the other photos.   
  
Him with Isabelle on his back and Alec at his side, him and Raphael standing side by side in front of a water fountain that Magnus didn’t recognize. A photo of Alec and Jace holding hands while Simon leaned on Jace’s other side, what looked like a prom photo of himself and...Camille?   
  
Magnus leaned closer, inspecting the photo closely. Yes, that was most certainly Camille in his arms in the photo. A beautiful silver dress, deep red accents. He couldn’t deny she was gorgeous, despite how the thought made bile rise in his throat.     
  
Stepping back a little, Magnus realized many of the pictures were of Camille. The two of them in a park, him dipping her for a kiss, her sitting on his shoulders in a pool. They made Magnus nauseous, made his skin crawl in absolute disgust. Of course, Magnus had known there were universes for every possibility, that there were going to be many things he could barely fathom. But it only just seemed to hit him, like he was only now realizing how different things could possibly be.   
  
“Right. Time for me to go.” Magnus shook his head, stepping away from the wall like it was about to attack him.


	4. Royalty Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is angst in this universe, as Magnus and Alec are involved in a forbidden affair.

Magnus kept his eyes closed as he stepped through the new portal. If he was lucky, the blur of movement and color around him wouldn’t make him dizzy if he kept his eyes shut. However, when he felt the ground beneath his feet and opened his eyes again with a new world around him, he felt even more dizzy than he had the first two times. He stumbled a bit, reaching to brace a hand on the wall to keep himself standing, and suddenly he felt hands on his hips.   
  
“Your Highness, are you alright?” Alec’s concerned voice hit his ears and feeling him so close was enough to distract Magnus from the title for a brief moment.   
  
Then it hit him. Alec had just called him ‘Your Highness’. He was royalty. He glanced down at himself as subtly as possible, pleased to see his jacket was threaded with gold and his belt seemed to be studded with emeralds. That familiar feeling of multiple rings was there, and an unfamiliar feeling of something resting on his head. A crown, he assumed, if he was royalty in this universe.   
  
“Yes, I’m fine. I think I haven’t had enough water to drink, today.” He managed to answer when he realized he had probably been silent for too long. He could feel Alec relax behind him, could feel those arms wrap around his waist and lips at his neck.   
  
“Good. My first diplomatic visit to your kingdom would be a failure if your people thought I killed you, somehow.” He mused, nuzzling into Magnus’ neck.   
  
Magnus let out a laugh that was more of a hum than anything else, letting his head tilt to expose his neck to Alec. He raised his own hands to rest over the arms holding his waist, relaxing back into him. This was good, this was far better than a universe where he was apparently dating Camille. Alec kissing and nipping at his neck would always be a welcome alternative to her.   
  
“Do diplomats usually kiss the necks of royalty?” Magnus mused teasingly, and he smiled when he felt Alec laugh into his skin.   
  
“Of course not,” he answered, licking a stripe up the side of Magnus’ neck and nipping at his ear. “But when else would a prince be able to kiss his king without the world knowing?”   
  
“Never, I suppose. Sad as it is.” Magnus sighed dramatically, raising a hand to reach behind himself and tangle his fingers in Alec’s hair.   
  
Alec laughed again, pressing one last kiss to the side of Magnus’ neck before pulling away. He nudged at Magnus until he turned, smiling up at Alec. His breath caught for a moment, and he stared in open awe at Alec.   
  
There was a shimmery, silver color lining his eyes. A barely there hint of charcoal gray brushed over his lids. If Magnus didn’t already know how perfect Alexander’s eyelashes were, he’d suspect he was wearing mascara as well. A silver chain hung from his ear, and the silver circlet of a crown on his head shined brightly. Magnus cupped Alec’s face in his hands, thumbs lovingly rubbing back and forth.   
  
“Silver suits you so well, angel.” He whispered.   
  
Alec smiled, just as bright and beautiful as the one Magnus was used to, and he ducked his head down to kiss Magnus firmly, with far more initiative than Magnus was used to. One of Magnus’ hands slipped up into his hair, careful not to dislodge his crown. Royalty definitely suited Alec, the extravagance of it paired with Alec’s inherent leadership qualities melded together so perfectly.   
  
Magnus tilted his head to deepen the kiss, pulling Alec closer into him. He felt Alec make a pleased sound as those arms tightened around him. The hand not in Alec’s hair slipped down to rest on his chest, and Magnus sighed contentedly into the kiss. The world around him began to grow hazy, as if it were fading out completely.   
  
No. No, he couldn’t allow that. He had his own universe to get back to, he couldn’t let himself fade into this one. This was not his own Alexander, this was not the still shy nephilim he was already in love with. He tried to focus his attention on the weight from his ear, think of the arrowhead still attached to him.   
  
Magnus pulled out of the kiss with a contented little sigh, nudging his nose against Alec’s before pulling away completely. He sighed, turning to look down the stone corridor.   
  
“I wish I could marry you instead, you know.” Alec said quietly, and Magnus could just hear that sad smile in his voice. He swallowed, feeling his heart break harshly despite knowing he could go back to his own Alec.   
  
“...I do, too.” He answered, looking down.   
  
And suddenly, Magnus felt guilt pooling in his gut. He got to go home and hold his Alexander. He got to go back to his Alec and kiss him freely. He didn’t have to hide how much he loved him. He was allowed to hold him close and murmur sweet nothings to him as they shared a bed. But in this universe? In this universe, Magnus  couldn’t even guarantee that they’d be able to keep up whatever illicit affair they seem to be having. Something about that was perhaps worse than knowing he was still dating Camille in another universe. Knowing they were in love but still forbidden from one another. It was enough to make Magnus’ skin crawl unpleasantly.   
  
Magnus swallowed thickly, forced a smile, and turned to face Alec once more. He offered his hand, head tilting.   
  
“Come on, darling. It’s no use focusing on what we can’t change.” He said, relaxing a bit when Alec took his proffered hand. “Go ahead and lead on. I’ll follow wherever you want to go.”   
  
Alec chuckled, shaking his head, and he tugged at Magnus’ hand to start guiding him down the corridor. Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand gently as they walked, and he allowed himself a moment of disappointment as they rounded a corner and Alec dropped his hand. Magnus felt a twisting feeling in his gut again, harshly reminded that he couldn’t be open about his affection here.   
  
They walked in silence for a long while, nodding respectfully to people as they passed them. Finally, Alec was pushing open a large door into what must have been Magnus’ own bed chambers. Magnus shut the door behind him, a smile growing as he was pushed back against the door. His hands immediately moved up to wrap around Alec’s neck, guiding him down into another kiss. This one was a little more desperate, a little more eager than the one before. Far less chance of being caught.   
  
Magnus felt those wonderful hands trailing up his sides, sliding forward over his chest and continuing up until Alec was carefully removing the crown from Magnus’ head. Magnus couldn’t help but smile into the kiss when he heard it clatter uselessly to the floor and felt Alec’s hands tangle in his hair. Who had time to respect the royal symbol when there was an amazing mouth to kiss?   
  
Alec tugged at Magnus, pulling him away from the door and further into the room. Magnus followed eagerly, surprised by the take charge attitude this Alec seemed to have. Of course, his own Alec was a leader in his own right. He was a good leader, on top of it. But when things got intimate with them, he turned so shy. So unsure of himself, and he usually let Magnus take the lead. He wanted Magnus to guide him, as if he was afraid he’d mess it up somehow.   
  
They both laughed against each other’s lips as they stumbled over each other’s feet, searching blindly for the large bed they both knew was in the room. When the edge of the bed hit Magnus’ legs, they both collapsed down onto it. Once again, every sound around them began to get hazy. Magnus’ thoughts began to swirl, like he’d drank far too much. Those lips felt so good against his own, Alec felt so warm above him.   
  
And then a hand slipped up under Magnus’ shirt and he tensed. He couldn’t do this. He’d lose himself, he knew it. And besides, something about it felt wrong. Yes, this was still Alec, but not his Alec. This wasn’t his universe, he had no right to this version of Alec.   
  
Magnus gently pushed Alec off of him, ignoring the confused and hurt expression he was given as he sat up. He closed his eyes, reaching for his earring to clutch at it. He took a slow, deep breath, and opened his eyes slowly when a gentle hand touched his shoulder.   
  
“Magnus?” Alec asked, cautious. “Are you alright?”   
  
Magnus swallowed thickly, then turned his head to look at Alec.   
  
“...No. No, Alec, this….” He sighed, turning completely so he was facing him. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but let me finish before you make that assessment.”   
  
Alec’s brows furrowed together, but he nodded once. He settled a bit, reaching to take Magnus’ hands in his own, and Magnus felt his throat close up.   
  
“I am...not the same Magnus you know. “ He started slowly, searching Alec’s face for any reaction. “There is an infinite number universes, and I’m not from this one.”   
  
It was silent for a long moment, Magnus could see the confusion in Alec’s eyes. Could see him trying to work through the information. Finally, Alec shook his head.   
  
“I don’t think I understand.” He said.   
  
Magnus felt a little relieved, really. Alec wasn’t panicking, wasn’t yelling, wasn’t angry. He was trying to understand, working to try and figure out what was happening, and so willing to believe him. Magnus gently took his hands back from Alec, and he allowed that blue magic to spark at his fingertips.   
  
“I’m a Warlock from another universe. Still Magnus Bane, but a different version than you know. I’ve been trying to learn about these alternate realities, so I’ve been visiting different ones. Once I go back to my own universe, your version of me will be here again.” he swallowed thickly, finding it difficult to keep speaking. Part of him was terrified, perhaps he shouldn’t have told him?   
  
But Alec was silent, looking down at the magic still swirling around Magnus’ hands. He tilted his head, reaching tentatively toward him. His fingers touched the blue sparks, and Alec’s hand jerked slightly. Magnus didn’t speak, gave Alec as much time as he needed. Finally, Alec nodded and lifted his head a bit to meet Magnus’ eyes.   
  
“This...doesn’t make sense. But I’m certain my Magnus can’t do that.” He gestured to Magnus’ hands as he spoke, and the relief hit Magnus harshly.   
  
“It didn’t feel right continuing when I’m not really your Magnus, and you’re not really my Alexander.” He said with an apologetic little smile. Alec returned the smile.   
  
“Thank you for that.” Alec licked at his lips, looking around. “...How...how do you get back home? Will my Magnus be okay?” He asked, brows furrowing again and the concern bubbled up inside him.  Magnus stood, gesturing vaguely with a hand.   
  
“I open a portal. He’ll be fine, if a little disoriented.” He answered, head tilting as he watched Alec.   
  
“Can I see?” Alec asked, perking up a little bit. Magnus laughed, nodding.   
  
“Of course, darling.” He mused, turning to look around the room completely.   
  
Once he found an area he was certain was safe for the portal to open - right in front of the balcony doors, where there was plenty of room - Magnus closed his eyes. He focused again, perhaps putting a bit more flourish into his movements since he had an audience this time. He did aim to impress, after all.   
  
Magnus didn’t open his eyes until he heard the quiet, awed gasp from behind him. He looked over his shoulder at Alec to gauge his react, a little smirk quirking at his lips. Alec had stood, eyes wide as he examined the portal with awe. Magnus tilted his head when he looked at the portal again, mildly impressed with himself. It was much more stable than that first one he had opened.   
  
“Your Magnus should be right here when the portal disappears.” He said, nodding once.   
  
“Right...thank you.” Alec answered absently, still distracted by the portal. Magnus turned to him again, waiting until Alec looked at him.   
  
“It’s not like this everywhere,” He said quietly, softly. “You’re not destined to be kept from loving each other in every universe. In my universe, you and I are happy together, are free to love each other. I think you deserve to know that.”   
  
Alec gaped for a moment, then swallowed thickly. He nodded once, managing a smile.   
  
“Thank you.” He rasped out, and Magnus hated knowing how close to tears he was.   
  
Magnus nodded again, reaching to touch Alec’s jaw with the tips of his fingers. Then, he turned back to the portal and stepped through.


	5. Highschool Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec is technically closeted in this universe, but it could be read as he's just sneaking off because it's during the school day. Also, a really really bad joke. Painfully unfunny.

Magnus could hear familiar voices before the visual of the new universe came into focus. Faces came into view, next. Raphael, Lily, Ragnor, Catarina, all of them sitting around him at what seemed to be some sort of picnic table. Catarina seemed to be telling some sort of story, and there were school books spread out on the table between trays of food.   
  
Glancing around subtly, it only took Magnus a moment or two to realize he was sitting in some sort of high school court yard. Lunchtime, apparently. His attention was drawn back to his friends, and he blinked as Ragnor - a far younger looking Ragnor, though he still seemed just as prickly - rose a brow at him.   
  
“Were you paying any attention to what I was saying, Magnus?” He asked, sounding far more exasperated than accusatory.   
  
“Not in the least.” Magnus answered before he could think of it, shooting the man - or teen, in this case - a charming smile. The others laughed, but Ragnor threw a balled up napkin at Magnus.   
  
“Magnus!” Alec’s familiar voice cut through the buzzing sound of the crowded court yard, and Magnus turned in his seat to try and find him through the people.   
  
Alec came jogging up from where he’d been standing with Jace and a few other people Magnus couldn’t give names to. The jersey he was wearing suited him nicely, green and white. Magnus could only assume those were the school’s colors. He tilted his head curiously, answering with a little noise from his throat as Alec came up to him. Alec smiled, scratching at the back of his head.   
  
“Hey, you think you could help me with my French homework before lunch is over?” He asked, and something about the simple request seemed unbelievably adorable coming from him.   
  
“Of course.” Magnus answered, already getting up from his seat. He grabbed the bag that had been at his feet, shooting a smile over his shoulder at the others. “I’ll see you later.”   
  
Magnus followed Alec easily, allowing himself the chance to examine him. He was slighter, a few years younger than the Alec that Magnus was used to. ‘Lightwood’ stood out in blaring white from the back of his jersey, and Magnus wondered briefly what sport he played.   
  
They were nearly on the other side of the campus, with Magnus about ready to ask where the hell they were even going, when Alec reaching back to grab his hand and tug him along a little more excitedly. Magnus almost stumbled in his surprise, a smile tugging at his lips. Well, this was exciting. What was Alec planning?   
  
He was dragged along until they made it to the football field, and Alec turned to face Magnus as he pulled him under the bleachers with a bright smile. He immediately tugged Magnus into him, hands landing on his hips and leaning their faces close together.   
  
“I missed you.” He breathed out, voice soft. Magnus felt his heart flutter as he lifted his hands to rest them on Alec’s shoulders.   
  
“It hasn’t been that long.” He answered, hoping he was accurate.   
  
“Three periods,” Alec mumbled, leaning his head down to kiss at the curve of Magnus’ jaw. “It’s been ages .”   
  
Magnus huffed out a laugh, letting his head to fall to the side in an encouragement for Alec to continue. Those lips pressed to the skin gently, barely brushing over his pulse point, and Magnus sighed. One of his hands slipped up into Alec’s hair, tangling in the soft strands and urging Alec closer.   
  
The attention was nice, it was always amazing to feel Alexander kissing at his neck, but Magnus couldn’t help but be struck at the ridiculousness of the situation. How unbearably cliche this was. He was a highschool student, under the bleachers with a jock to kiss between classes. The idea of it was so ludicrous, so horribly unoriginal, that Magnus had to bite back the laugh building in his throat.   
  
Before he could get too lost in the amusing train of thought, Alec lifted his head again and pressed into a proper kiss. Magnus sighed against his lips, the arm not already in Alec’s hair wrapping around his neck. He had to push up onto his toes, and he could feel Alec smile against his lips.   
  
Alec licked and nipped at Magnus’ mouth, pressing insistently into his mouth and pushing him back into the supports holding the bleachers up. Magnus made a soft little noise, content, and he returned the kiss with just as much fervor. What must this feel like for this version of himself? How would it feel, to sneak around as a teenager to kiss someone? Lying to his friends about where he was going, risking getting caught and getting in trouble.   
  
“Was thinking about you during practice.” Alec mumbled, pulling out of the kiss so he could lick and kiss over his jaw and back down his neck. Magnus hummed quietly, gently tugging at Alec’s hair.   
  
“Oh yeah?” He asked, breathless.   
  
“Couldn’t throw the damn ball straight. Was too busy thinking of how you taste.” Alec continued, and Magnus couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle.   
  
“What a shame,” Magnus tutted. “Usually, your throw is the only straight thing about you.”   
  
Alec burst into a fit of laughter, having to rest his forehead on Magnus’ shoulder.   
  
“That was horrible .” He gasped out through his laughs. “That was the worst joke you have ever told.”   
  
“Excuse you, I’m hilarious!” Magnus demanded, making an offended little noise that was ruined a bit by the smile pulling at his lips.   
  
Alec straightened up so he could look at Magnus, a wide smile brightly taking over his face. His hands had slipped just barely up under Magnus’ shirt, thumbs rubbing over the skin of his hips. And the whole situation just felt so natural, so pure. A innocence to it that didn’t exist for the Alec that Magnus knew. Magnus smiled right back at him, head tilting to the side a bit as the silence stretched on.   
  
Finally, Alec let out a contented little sigh and leaned back into another kiss. This one was softer, just a little press of lips to lips that lasted for just a few seconds. Magnus could feel his heart flutter a bit in his chest, his head growing hazy again. Magnus snapped his attention back to his earring, to the memory of Alec so shyly offering it to him. It snapped him back into himself easily.   
  
“I’ve got to get back to Jace.” Alec sighed, far less contented this time, and Magnus couldn’t stop himself from pouting.   
  
“But I’m cuter.” He grumbled, feeling Alec smile before they pulled away from each other.   
  
“You’re a lot cuter than Jace,” Alec agreed, reaching to brush his fingers up Magnus’ jaw. “But we’ve got a big game coming up and he needs me to help him with English or he’s benched.”    
  
Magnus gave a dramatic sigh, rolling his eyes so harshly that his head rolled, too. He stepped into Alec’s space again, giving him one last, sweet kiss before smiling at him.   
  
“See you later, then?” He asked, quiet. Alec smiled brightly at him, nodding once.   
  
“Yeah. See you later.” He agreed, hesitating briefly before he left a lingering kiss on Magnus’ forehead.   
  
Alec stayed there a long moment, so obviously not wanting to leave. Finally, he managed to force himself to step away from Magnus, touching him one last time on the shoulder before he made himself leave. Magnus tilted his head as he watched him go, heart still fluttering in his chest. It was a little embarrassing, really, how affected by Alexander he was. But he also couldn’t find it in himself to care, not when he knew Alec was just as affected.   
  
Shaking his head, Magnus pushed off of the support beam with a little sigh. Seemed like the best time to leave. He doubted he’d find the chance to get alone like this during a school day and really, the idea of sitting through classes was horrific. Just the idea of it made Magnus’ face scrunch up, and he had to shake his head to clear his mind.   
  
Opening the portal under the bleachers was a little more difficult than Magnus had expected, the doorway between universes needed far more space than Magnus had actually realized. It hadn’t been a real issue, yet. But under the bleachers, with the metal supports zig-zagging all over the place, Magnus realized he couldn’t cast a the portal in such a cramped space.   
  
Magnus looked around tentatively as he got out from under the bleachers, carefully examining his surroundings. The last thing a teenage version of himself needed was anyone see him using magic. Once convinced the coast was clear, Magnus turned toward the football field so he could cast his portal.


	6. Genderbent Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This universe has them fully genderbent. I personally don't enjoy genderbends, but I wanted to explore the way our Magnus would react to it, and I feel as if showing his appreciation for Alec as any sex was a nice nod to his bisexuality. Or I hope it is.
> 
> Also, I referred to Magnus as 'he' because, while this universe's version is a woman, it's technically our Magnus who identifies as male who is being talking about.
> 
> Also also, Chairman's name is Chairman Woof.

Just like the first time, when Magnus fully came into the new universe, he was in bed.   
  
However, unlike the first time, something felt...off.   
  
There was certainly someone in bed with him, the arm around his waist was proof enough of that. A far more feminine arm than Alec’s, but still undoubtedly muscled. Long nails painted black. Looking down at those nails, Magnus noticed exactly why things felt off.   
  
He had breasts.   
  
Well. Okay then.   
  
He - she? - turned around carefully, doing his best not to disrupt the arm draped over him. When he finally was on his other side, beautiful hazel eyes were watching him carefully. Oh, he’d know those eyes anywhere, man or woman. This was most certainly this universe’s version of Alec, she had to be.   
  
“Morning, Mags.” The woman breathed out, leaning into him to kiss his nose. Magnus scrunched his face a little, smiling.   
  
“Morning.” Magnus answered, reaching up to trace over Alec’s - or perhaps Alex’s, in this universe - lips. “Sleep well?”   
  
“I always sleep well in your bed.” She answered with a hum, kissing at the fingers still tracing her lips.   
  
“Hmm, is that because of me or because of my excellent choice of mattress?” Magnus asked teasingly. It was strange to hear his own voice, strange to hear a woman speaking instead of the voice he was used to. Alec laughed, shifting closer to Magnus.   
  
“Maybe a little bit of both.” She teased right back, arm tightening a little around Magnus’ waist.   
  
There wasn’t time for Magnus to answer before they could both hear the padding of an animal running toward them. Magnus raised a brow and sat up, catching sight of the Akita as he leaped up onto the bed. He crawled over them, working himself between the two and licking at whatever skin he could get to. Alec laughed, trying to avoid that tongue all the while still petting his head.   
  
“Alright, Chairman, I get it!” She managed to get out through her laughter. “I love you too, buddy, calm down!”   
  
Magnus laughed, sitting up so he could wrap his arms around the dog’s neck and snuggle into his fur. Chairman made a pleased grunting sound, dislodging Magnus so he could flop down onto his side, exposing his belly. His tail thumped back and forth between their legs, and they both went to rub his belly at the same time. Their hands bumped against each other a few times as they pet the dog, but neither of them seemed to mind much. Chairman didn’t seem to mind either. And it was a relief, really, that Magnus was already laughing. He could almost imagine his own Chairman, his diva of a cat, looking horrified at knowing he was a dog in another universe.   
  
This universe’s version of Alec - whose name Magnus still wasn’t positive about - kissed Chairman one last time on the head before climbing out of bed. Magnus took the moment to examine her. Runes littered her body, they seemed to be in the same spots as his own Alec’s. She was strong, while still holding a femininity about her that was impossible to deny.   
  
And she was beautiful. Magnus knew he would never get used to the beauty of his own Alec, would never stop being amazed by those beautiful hazel eyes or that perfect smile. But he expected them, now. This was something else entirely. A far different kind of beauty, the curve of her waist into wide hips and long, strong legs. Her face was softer, lips just as plump, lashes just as long and dark. Long hair that fell in elegant waves even though she had just woken up.   
  
She was absolutely stunning. Magnus would go so far as to say she was just as beautiful as his own Alec.   
  
She started out the door, giving Magnus a wonderful view of her ass, covered by a pair of cotton plaid shorts. Magnus licked at his lips, biting at his bottom lip.   
  
He had permission. Alec had given him permission to be with the other versions of himself. And this most certainly was a version of Alec, despite the obvious change in sex. And how could Magnus pass this opportunity up? How could he possibly let this chance pass him by? This was so different from the royal version of Alexander. He already knew what it was like to hold and kiss a male Alec, to love him. Even if he would never get sick of it, he already knew. But this? This version of Alec wasn’t what he was used to, it wasn’t anything he knew. And Magnus wanted to know.   
  
Magnus climbed out of bed, first going to the bathroom to look in the mirror. He was a petite woman, in this universe. Long, pin straight black hair that nearly reached his hips. He could see streaks of purple through it, and he assumed it changed as regularly as it did in his own universe. The tank top hanging off of his shoulders was a light blue silk, the soft fabric accenting his breasts nicely.  He looked down at his hands, examining the slender fingers and long, bright red nails.   
  
Magnus stood there examining himself for another long moment before he decided he would much rather be looking at his lover. He caught his own smirk as he turned to exit the bathroom, making his way out of the bedroom altogether. The loft looked exactly the same, aside from a few dog toys spread around. The thought suddenly hit him that he should probably buy some toys for his own Chairman, but it was short lived.   
  
Alec was in the kitchen, standing over the coffee pot with her hip cocked to the side while she waited for it to finish brewing. Magnus smirked again, walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning in to kiss the back of her neck. She relaxed instantly back into him, letting out a pleased little hum, and it drove Magnus mad.   
  
While most definitely not his own Alec, she fit into his arms so nicely. He could feel the well defined muscles in her abdomen and in her arms, could smell sandalwood on her hair and see the fading hickies on her neck. Magnus wondered, briefly, what his own Alec would think about this. If he’d be embarrassed by being told how beautiful the female version of himself was, or if he’d maybe be jealous?   
  
Before he could get carried away thinking about his own Alec, Magnus pressed his lips to this Alec’s deflect rune. She hummed happily again, and the sound turned into a breathy chuckle when Magnus nipped at the skin.   
  
“You’re insatiable.” She murmured, a chuckle still in her voice, and Magnus smiled into her skin before kissing again.   
  
“You’re impossible to resist.” He countered.   
  
Alec laughed again, turning in Magnus’ arms until they were facing one another. She lifted her arms to rest them on Magnus’ shoulders, leaning back against the counter and smiling. That same, beautiful smile his own Alec had, with those hazel eyes brightening in the best of ways.   
  
“You know,” She started, voice soft and a little shy. That was something Magnus was certainly used to. “You’re just as beautiful without your make up.”   
  
Magnus smile softened, heart fluttering in his chest. God, how many times had his own Alec told him that? It was nice to know this version of him felt the same way. He was certain there was a version somewhere who hated it, it was a theoretical certainty. Forcing the unpleasant thought from his mind, Magnus pressed up onto his toes so he could kiss her. It was soft, and he was pleased to feel that familiar spark of heat hit him. Like his magic was pulsing in his veins, desperate to get out and take some sort of form. His chest swelling and his mind growing hazy.   
  
The kiss deepened, both tilting their heads into it, and Alec’s arms tightened around Magnus’ neck. Without warning, Alec removed her arms and reached around Magnus’ waist. Magnus was hoisted up and he couldn’t help but laugh into Alec’s lips, his legs wrapping around her waist. Maybe he could convince his own Alec to do this, get him comfortable enough to be this assertive.   
  
Alec carried him right back into the bedroom, mouthing her way down to Magnus’ neck the whole way. She dropped Magnus down onto the mattress, plopping down right beside him. Before she had the chance to do anything, Magnus pushed her over onto her back and climbed on top of her, straddling her hips. He reached to brush his fingertips over her lips, up over her cheek and down her jaw. Alec’s eyes closed, and she turned her head slightly to press into Magnus’ touch.   
  
“You’re so gorgeous, angel.” he murmured, leaning down to kiss her again.   
  
Magnus let his lips take the familiar trail from Alec’s lips down to his neck, finding it wasn’t too different on this version than on his own. He licked at the skin, nipping over old hickies. Alec tilted her head back beautifully, pressing her neck up into Magnus’ lips with a contented sigh. One of her hands lifted up to tangle in Magnus’ hair, lovingly stroking through the strands as Magnus continued to lavish her neck with attention.   
  
“Mags….” Alec breathed out, just a hint of shyness, just like the Alec that Magnus was used to. “Maggie…”   
  
Magnus smiled against her skin, licking and nipping at the deflect rune teasingly. The skin was sensitive, he knew that. His hands trailed down Alec’s torso, hands cupping her breasts carefully. Instead of the hard planes of his own Alec’s chest, there were soft curves and gentle sloping, but she pressed into the touches just the same. Made the same, breathy little noises and gripped at Magnus’ hair with the same desperation.   
  
Humming in the back of his throat, Magnus slipped a hand up under Alec’s shirt, gently rubbing a thumb over one of her nipples. She whined, back arching slightly and Magnus glanced up in time to catch her bite into her bottom lip.   
  
“Beautiful.” Magnus breathed out, nose nudging along Alec’s jaw line lovingly.   
  
The noise that suddenly interrupted them was familiar, and Magnus found himself groaning in annoyance before he could even think about it. As if reacting out of habit. Alec sighed, and Magnus could practically hear her roll her eyes. He rolled off of Alec, putting on a dramatic pout as she pushed off the bed to go find her phone. She dug it out of the pocket of her jeans which had been lying in a clump on the floor, and Magnus tried to suppress the smile at the so obviously annoyed answer she gave.   
  
Alec wasn’t on the phone long, and she collapsed onto the bed beside Magnus, again, with another sigh. She wrapped an arm around Magnus, tugging him closer to kiss at his temple.   
  
“Emergency. The institute needs me.” She murmured, and Magnus felt another pout tug at his lips.   
  
“Don’t demons need breaks, too?” He grumbled, though the effect was ruined when Alec laughed and he had to smile.   
  
“Apparently not.” She answered, standing once more and going back to her crumpled pile of clothes so she could get dressed.   
  
Magnus watched her pull the black skinny jeans on, taking note of how they fit her ass and showed off those long legs. Maybe he could convince his own Alec to wear skinny jeans? He was pulled from the thoughts as Alec tugged him up off the bed and into a kiss, and Magnus melted into it.   
  
“I’ll see you later, Mags.” She whispered against Magnus’ lips, and Magnus hummed quietly.   
  
“See you later, love.” He answered.   
  
Alec lingered a long moment, lovingly brushing a hand through Magnus’ long hair. Then, with a sigh, she forced herself to pull away. She offered a little smile, then turned to slip out of the bedroom.   
  
Magnus didn’t move until he heard the front door shut, finally relaxing completely and allowing himself to fall back onto the bed with a huff. Well, it’s for the best he supposed. He had hated the idea of getting too intimate with anyone but his own Alec, anyway. Even if learning about the female version of him was an enticing thought.   
  
“Well. Chairman. I suppose this means it’s time for me to move on.” Magnus announced, looking to the side towards the dog. He had been sound asleep on the carpet, but hearing his name seemed to rouse him enough for him to lift his head.   
  
Magnus stood once more, stretching his arms above his head as he glanced around. The portal was even easier to open, this time, and Magnus felt pride welling up inside him. He was getting better at this, already. Wonderful. He couldn’t wait to brag to Alexander about it.


	7. Closeted Alec Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This universe has Alec still in the closet, and he is dating Lydia because of it. I edited it to hopefully make it much more obvious that he's just not out, and I hope it's better.

The room was bright when Magnus fully came into the new universe, and it took a moment for Magnus to realize he wasn’t in a room at all. He glanced around, brows furrowing for a brief moment. This….was a college campus. At least, he was pretty certain it was. The people surrounding him all seemed about college age, and many of them were carrying backpacks and books.   
  
“Magnus!” Simon’s voice. That was most certainly the fledgling’s voice, though he probably wasn’t a fledgling here, considering the sun was blaring down and there was no place Magnus could see where a vampire could hide in the shade. Magnus turned toward the source, offering a smile as Simon - glasses and all - pushed through a crowd of people with Isabelle and Jace at his heels.   
  
“How you been?” Simon asked, reaching his hand toward Magnus. Magnus reached to return the fist bump he was apparently expected to give, resisting the urge to grimace.   
  
“Not bad.” He answered, smiling warmly at them.   
  
“So I found a new job, which means I’ll have the money to pay my share of the rent, which means we can finally get out of the dorms and into an apartment.” Simon announced, and this time he fist bumped Jace. Magnus chuckled, shaking his head.   
  
“Finally.” He answered, the questions already piling on top of each other in his head.   
  
Who was ‘we’? Was Magnus included? Oh god, if he was, was he the only one who was going to be living with Simon? He certainly hoped not.   
  
“Was thinking we could celebrate tonight?” Simon continued, smiling at Izzy when she draped herself over him.   
  
“Alec won’t make it.” Jace said, examining a piece of paper in his hands, what looked like some sort of assignment. “Him and Lydia have been planning this dinner for weeks. Anniversary.” He mused, rolling his eyes in what was perhaps the most unimpressed way Magnus had ever seen.   
  
The sound of it made Magnus’ heart clench up. Alec and Lydia. Anniversary. Alec was with Lydia, here. Magnus could feel his chest tighten, his throat closing, and he tried his best to keep a smile on his face. Apparently, he failed, because Isabelle winced apologetically and smacked Jace’s shoulder.   
  
“I’m sorry, Magnus.” She said, stepping closer while Jace held his arm where he’d been hit and glared at Izzy. Magnus sighed a bit, shaking his head.   
  
“I should be used to it, by now.” He answered, thoroughly ignoring how his instinct was just screaming about how wrong that was. Izzy shook her own head.   
  
“Alec should at least realize by now how you feel. It’s like he’s not even considering your feelings when he brags about Lydia.” She sighed, stepping closer to wrap her arms around Magnus and lean her head on his shoulder. It felt easy to return the embrace, and Magnus tried to ignore the absolute agony building inside him.   
  
“No one should sacrifice their own happiness to spare my feelings.” He answered quietly, and Simon rolled his eyes.   
  
“He could at least be a little more considerate about it, though.” He grumbled, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “I’m pretty sure even Lyd knows he likes cock, by now.”

"Exactly." Izzy continued for him, shaking her head. "He's sacrificing his happiness to spare our _parents_ ' feelings."

As painful as the situation was, as horrified as Magnus was to know that Alec was with Lydia in this universe, it was reassuring to know his friends still cared so much. That they were so willing to try and comfort him. And, in a way, it was nice to know he had a universe where he was willing to let himself be comforted. He could just hear the teasing remarks Ragnor would make.   
  
But, even with the support he so obviously had from his friends, Magnus’ throat wouldn’t open back up. His chest still felt too painfully tight, and he suddenly felt the desperate need to leave. He had to leave. Swallowing thickly, he gently eased Izzy off of him and offered a small smile.   
  
“You guys go ahead, alright?” He said, lovingly tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’ll catch up in a few minutes.”   
  
Isabelle offered a sad smile, nodding one. She leaned into Magnus to kiss at his cheek. Simon clapped him on the shoulder with an apologetic grimace, and seeing it made Magnus want to vomit, his stomach churning.   
  
Magnus waited until the three took off and stopped glancing back over at him before he moved. He didn’t know where he expected to go, how he planned on finding a way to get himself alone so he could cast a new portal. But he’d be damned if he stayed here any longer than he had to.   
  
He ended up stumbling his way over the campus and into an abandoned classroom. The lights were off, and Magnus bumped into a few desks as he stepped through the dark. He took a long, deep breath, eyes slipping closed. Control, he needed to regain control. And really, how foolish was he for being this upset? This wasn’t his own version of Alec, this wasn’t the shy but powerful shadowhunter worriedly waiting on him back home.   
  
After a moment, Magnus managed to quell the nausea that had built up in his stomach, managed to force the panic away. And that panic that faded away was quickly replaced by embarrassment. The type of embarrassment that made Magnus’ cheeks flush pink and made him laugh at himself because this was so beyond ridiculous.   
  
Magnus cast the new portal easily, his uneasiness now a distant memory. He took his time with this portal, making it as stable as possible, and he was proud when he finished and wasn’t dizzy. His body was obviously getting used to using this type of magic, though he worried briefly he shouldn’t be hopping through the universes like this at all. What kind of strain was he actually putting on his magic?   
  
He shook the thought away as he stepped into the portal, mentally apologizing to the poor, confused version of himself he was about to leave behind in an empty classroom.


	8. Death Universe and Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec is already dead in this universe, and it was painful to write. Also, Magnus vomits. It's only vaguely described but I know that can be an issue for some people. 
> 
> It has a happy ending I swear.

It seemed to take longer for the new universe to come together around him. Like he had somehow gotten stuck somewhere between the two worlds. Those vivid colors and blurred images that had whirred past him through every other portal were moving slower, now. And they were fading until they were just vague shades of grey.   
  
As soon as the world finally settled down, Magnus knew something was wrong. Horribly wrong. But he had no idea what it was, which perhaps made the feeling more terrifying.   
  
Already, Magnus was soaking wet. The area around him looked just as grey as the portal had; rain pouring from dark clouds and thunder booming somewhere in the distance. Magnus could feel the dirt under his knees, could feel his hair falling into his face from the rain, and he was afraid to look up. Afraid to see what was around him.   
  
So, Magnus closed his eyes before he pushed to his feet, and he turned around in his place before opening them again. Like he was refusing to see whatever he had been facing just seconds before. When Magnus opened his eyes again, he was staring right at the institute, the building looking almost dangerous in the gloomy weather.   
  
But, this was the back of the building. And Magnus had no idea what he could possible be doing in the back of the institute. His hand snapped up to wrap around his earring, grasping the arrowhead so tightly that the dulled point nearly broke the skin of his palm. It didn’t comfort him like he had hoped it would, didn’t do anything to sate the growing worry that was making Magnus’ head buzz.   
  
Swallowing thickly, Magnus squared his shoulders. He kept his hand wrapped around the arrow head as he gathered his courage and slowly turned back around, to look at whatever he’d been kneeling in front of when he arrived.   
  
Suddenly, Magnus felt his stomach churn and his throat close.   
  
There was a light marble slab standing there, polished and very nearly glistening in the rainwater. Alexander Gideon Lightwood was etched elegantly into the stone, his date of birth and another far more recent date under that.   
  
Magnus’ knees gave out, and he found himself kneeling in front of the gravestone once again. He reached a hand out towards it tentatively, fear spiking in him. This had to be a joke. This couldn’t be real. Alexander was far too young to be gone in any universe, he was far too good. Magnus’ fingers brushed against the cold stone, feeling the name carved there, and he could see when he started shaking. Those little trembles starting in his fingers, running up his arms until finally his entire body was convulsing.   
  
He was already soaked from the rain still persistently pouring in sheets from the sky, but Magnus knew damn well he was crying, too. Could almost feel the makeup rushing down over his cheeks. He scrambled away from the grave, leaning over as his stomach clenched up and he felt bile rise in his throat. He coughed, almost unable to hold himself up.   
  
He couldn’t do this, anymore. He just couldn’t. He needed to go home, he had to go home . He needed to see Alexander, needed to hold him. To touch him, reassure himself that Alec was alive and well.   
  
Magnus forced himself unsteadily to his feet, knees almost too weak to hold himself, and he started for a new portal, one that would bring him back to his own reality, without giving a damn if anyone saw. He just needed to leave, it didn’t matter if anyone saw him. He let out a choked sob as his shaking hands moved and only a weak blur of magic formed. He shook his head harshly, wiping at his eyes before trying again.   
  
“Come on!” He managed to cough out, desperate like he hadn’t sounded in decades.   
  
Again, his magic only sputtered weakly, sparks falling with the rain to the ground, but no portal. Magnus allowed himself to collapse down onto his knees again, shaking his head. He could do this, dammit, he had to! He needed to go home!   
  
Taking a deep breath, or as deep a breath as he could take while still choking on tears, Magnus carefully rose back to his feet. He closed his eyes, focusing on the weight hanging from his ear, focused on the energy he could feel pulsing through the arrowhead. He clung to it, so tightly he might have worried that his own magic would destroy the gift.   
  
He tried to concentrate on his magic, tried to control that power inside him that was usually so easy to manipulate. He could see the portal in his mind, could nearly feel the magic of stepping through it to return back where he belonged.   
  
When Magnus opened his eyes again, his portal had actually been cast, and he very nearly sobbed in relief.   
  
Magnus fell through the portal, trying to ignore the images blurring past him. By the gods, why couldn’t this portal work faster? Why couldn’t it be instantaneous? Why did he have to wait any amount of time to go back to his Alexander? To hold him and remind himself that Alec is okay?   
  
This time, instead of a gradual fade into focus, the world snapped into place and Magnus stumbled, gasping for breath. It was dark in the loft, and Magnus had arrived right back where he had left it in the first place. He saw Chairman bolt through the room, making his way into the bedroom to hide from the sudden commotion.   
  
“Alexander!” Magnus called out, voice hoarse and cracking.   
  
Heavy steps, like someone running, and suddenly Magnus was collapsing against Alec’s chest with those strong arms wrapped securely around him. Magnus gasped out a breathy sob, raising his arms so he could clutch at the back of his shirt, pull Alec closer to him. He could hear Alec talking to him, but the words weren’t reaching him, like he was trying to listen through water. He just buried his face in Alec’s neck, inhaling shakily.   
  
Alexander was so warm in his arms. Warm and real and alive . He could hear Alec’s heart beat, could feel his chest rise and fall with every breath he took. It took a long moment for Magnus to realize he was crying, still, his make up running and smudging onto Alec’s shirt.   
  
“Magnus! “ Alec repeated, voice high and panicked. “Mags, what happened? Are you okay?”   
  
“You were gone.” Magnus breathed out, voice sounding absolutely wrecked. “I was at your grave. You were gone .”   
  
Alec made a noise in the back of his throat, and his hand raised so he was petting lovingly at Magnus’ hair. He tightened his other arm around him, holding him as close as possible, and turned his head to press a lingering kiss to Magnus’ head.   
  
“It’s okay, Magnus.” He breathed out, seeming to relax.   
  
And, while Magnus understood that Alec was relieved nothing had really gone wrong , it still was painful to know this didn’t upset him. Magnus had gone into a universe where Alexander, his wonderful nephilim, was already dead. Did he not understand how horrible that was? How painful it was for Magnus? That harsh reminder that Alec was mortal? Did he not realize how unbelievably real that was? To know he was at a real grave, that Alec’s dead body had been buried beneath him?   
  
“I’m okay, babe, it’s alright.” Alec continued, cooing gently and swaying back and forth with Magnus. It briefly crossed Magnus’ mind that Alec was an older brother, that comforting others came as naturally to him as shooting his arrows.   
  
Slowly, Magnus released the death grip he had on Alexander, pulling back a little to look up at his face. Alec kept his arms wrapped as tightly around Magnus as he could while still letting him pull away. Licking his lips, Magnus let his hands slip up until he was cupping Alec’s face, his thumbs rubbing lovingly over his cheeks.   
  
Alec offered a small, comforting smile before he reached to wipe the tears from Magnus’ cheeks, relief obvious in his eyes.   
  
The need hit him suddenly, an overwhelming feeling pooling in the pit of his gut. Magnus hadn’t said it, yet, and he’d intended on waiting for Alec to say it first. But he couldn’t, anymore. He couldn’t wait, Alec needed to know. Magnus needed Alec to know.   
  
“I love you.” He breathed out. “I love you, Alexander. You are…” Magnus choked off, shaking his head. “You are so amazing. These universes, some of them showed me what we could have. What a wonderful life we could have and I want that with you, Alexander. I want us to have that life and I’m suddenly so afraid that I might lose that chance.”   
  
Alec gaped for a moment, eyes wide. His mouth fell open, and for a horrifying moment Magnus thought he’d gone too far.   
  
Then, a smile slowly pulled across Alec’s face. That soft, beautiful smile that always made Magnus’ heart flutter like he wasn’t used to. Alec leaned down into Magnus, pressing their foreheads together and lifting his other hand up so he was holding Magnus’ face, too.   
  
“I love you, too.” He breathed out, tilting his head into Magnus’ so their lips were very nearly touching. “I...Magnus, I love you.”   
  
Magnus surged up into a kiss, pulling Alec down closer to kiss him as thoroughly as possible. He could feel his heart surging in his chest, could feel his magic sparking at his fingertips as his control began to slip. To his embarrassment, he could feel more tears welling behind his closed eyelids but he couldn’t bring himself to care much about it.   
  
They both stayed quiet when they finally pulled away from the kiss, both out of breath and smiling. Magnus opened his eyes slowly, his glamour faded and golden eyes looking up at Alexander. Alec took a slow, deep breath before he let out a breathy laugh.   
  
“Come on,” He said, brushing a hand through Magnus’ hair. “You’re a mess. You need a shower.”   
  
“Are you going to join me?” Magnus answered immediately, his soft smile morphing into a grin, like it was that easy to go from that horrified, heavy feeling to a playful moment. Alec chuckled again, nodding.   
  
“Yeah. Yeah, we’ll shower then lie down, yeah?” He offered, taking a step back. He offered his hand, squeezing gently when Magnus linked their fingers without hesitation.   
  
“That sounds perfect.” Magnus said, letting Alec guide him through the loft.   
  
“And Magnus?” Alec started, not even looking over his shoulder. “You’re not doing that universe hopping thing again any time soon.”   
  
Magnus’ laughter followed them into the bathroom.


End file.
